Simplyme92's Blog

I really need to get this blog going. Meaning, there will be posts almost every day and an increase in my activity on here. Honestly, I think I need to make my blog more creative and funky. It seems too dull and serious all the time and boring. Wait until this weekend and I’ll probably have something done by then.

Ever since I was young, I have always favoured the cold seasons over the warmer ones. Autumn and winter appeals to me in a way that I cannot find in spring and summer. Maybe it was the possibiliy of having a snow day? That would be a valid reason, and it was probably my number one reason growing up. But recently, like about two years ago, when my thoughts turned from naiveness to maturity, I found a different reason why I have a liking for cold brisky weather.

I guess the cold months at times seem to drag on to the invariable eternity. Meaning, it turns out to be a bit dull at times causing the days to seem endless. The cloudy skies block our view of  the hopeful future ahead. And since our vision is clouded, we cannot help but feel hopeless and constant. My routine is uniform: wake up, school, home, homework, sleep. But for some reason, its this consistent changeless life that I find comforting. Comforting in a way because of one major thing: nothing changes.

Change.

Its not that I’m afraid of change. I’m not…I think. I just get so used to being inside my comfort zone. My sanctuary is mine and once I’m in it, it is really hard to get me out. To me, spring and summer signal change: the school year is ending, people move, and things won’t be the way like it used to be…how I got used to it to be…how I want it to be. Autumn and winter signal new beginnings. Though I know that I’ve got the whole, dragging, and long school year to go, I know that nothing will be changing anytime soon.

That was two years ago. I was still a freshman and I was still naive, even though I did not believe that. Two years later, I developed a new way of thinking. Did I shed my childlike naiveness this time? I’d like to think so. I probably shed more of it now than two years ago. We’ll find out in two years from now when I question myself again.

Now, things are different. I’m different. I still embrace autumn and winter wholly. Summer is still summer in my books. I like it but it probably is my least favourite season. But, spring, on the other hand….well, lets just say that I have taken a certain fancy to spring. How have I changed? What did I do to start liking the allergy-infested, insect bellowing season that everyone likes?

I grew up. And I embraced change.

You cannot experience new things without change. You just cannot possibly do that. In order for one thing to happen, something else has to be given up. Its just like economics. There are trade-offs for EVERYTHING. These past two years I traveled places and have become more secular and worldly. And just recently this past winter, I experienced something life-changing. It opened up my eyes, cleared my head, and allowed me to become more opened minded. This new feeling makes me feel…at peace, just like spring.

These next few months will test and challenge me with all the new changes. But you know what? Bring it on. Will the end result of the changes be worth it? Who knows. Its the journey along the way that I will treasure the most. Its the long, unpredictable, changing  journey that builds character, that will build me. Staying constant will turn me into a mindless, boring drone. We would not want that would we?

If you have read my earlier posts, you probably stumbled across something about me wanting to go to Africa and help the people in need; that I needed to do it because I was searching for something. I did not know what I was searching for. But now, my mind has the capabilities to put everything together and work out what I am feeling. I want to feel at peace, an internal peace.

And if both spring and the metaphor for spring brings me peace, I will accept whatever comes, even change, my way in order to fulfill my wish.

By now, this post probably confused you with the lack of focus and direction of what I am trying to say. Well, I don’t care if you understand it or not. I just HAD to write down what I was feeling because I had a surge of emotion that told me to do so. Maybe I’ll edit this later, maybe I won’t. I’m probably now going to go outside and bask in the changing weather, a weather where I’ll welcome it with open arms.