Simplyme92's Blog

One room disco. I am going to be in a one room disco.

In fourteen hours, I will be en route to a whole different world, Indonesia.  All the things done these past couple of month for this move is finally going to be put into place.  This opportunity that I am so enthusiastic about  is quickly approaching its starting point.

The last two days have been…indescribable, unpredictable, and overwhelming. One moment I am on a high and the next I am down in the dumps. But, I should be totally ecstatic, right? I mean, I have been looking forward to this opportunity. Being super elated about doing what I am about to do has kind blinded me at first from everything and everyone I am leaving behind. Now, reality hit. And it hit pretty damn hard.

I hope that when my friends ( you know who you are) read this they will realise how much they mean to me. I know I am horrible at conveying, or getting across, my feelings sometimes, but please do not take my timidness for the inability to feel. I am actually a bigger softie than you all think. Honestly, I do not know how I am going to make it without them all next year. After ages of getting accustomed to having them around, it is quite difficult to having them not there at all. I love that my friends love me for me. I know I am weird (understatement!)  and clumsy and kind of awkward. And I know sometimes I cannot relate to their American ways . Yet, after everything, my friends still like me for me. What really touched my heart was noticing how much I mean to them. When we were saying our goodbyes, they actually looked genuinely sad. I did not know that I had that sort of effect over them. I know right now I sound a like I lack common sense and is clueless in the friend department…but you know, I guess I still get amazed by all of those things. Even though in six months time I will be back in the states for winter break, the thought of spending such a long time away from everyone is heartbreaking, literally. Did you know that they gave me cards? I have not dared to look at them because I know I will break down hysterically and beg my mother to not send me to Indonesia. I will look at them, but just not now. My friends have that effect over me because they mean so much to me.  My group of friends are the most highly people I could ever ask for for friends and I am eternally grateful. Me  going to Indonesia is just a small chapter in the infinite book of our friendship. We are lifetime friends.

As I am finishing up my packing and this post, I cannot help but feel lonely, anxious, and frightened for whats to come. I am going to be in a distant, unconventional, and different world without my support group, my friends, by my side.

I am going to be in a one room disco.

Perfume’s latest single, called “One Room Disco”, reflects back when to when they were fourteen and moved to Tokyo from Hiroshima to pursue their musical dreams. They admit that that was one of  the toughest times of their lives. An unknown world, a different dialect of language, and a new adventure is something I am going to have to experience and go through just like Perfume. God knows, getting adjusted is going to be tough and there will be times where I will just want to pack up everything and come back to the states. But you know what? I just have to make the best of it and stick through it, just like Perfume.  I have been listening to this song nonstop since March because it kind of fits my scenario.

So I am done with this post. Next time I log on here I will be in Indo, ready to start afresh. Who knows what will be thrown my way. All I know is that with hard work, a little optimism, and the willingness to improve myself, I can succeed more than I ever thought imaginable.

P.S. This is a VERY ROUGH translation.

It is the final countdown, for real. Thursday the 28th is it. That is the day when I am leaving for Indonesia.

All the things I should have been despondent about before is wholly coming back to hit me now. When I first accepted the fact that I was going to move to Indonesia, I was elated, almost too eager to leave my life here in America. Reality finally hit when my mom booked the airplane tickets a couple of days ago  for this coming Thursday. The feeling is indescribable. A million of thoughts started running through my head all at once.  It is like as if I do not know WHAT to feel because it is extremely difficult to sort out all these thoughts out at once. I am overwhelmed ( !), confused, lugubrious, anxious, and a number of others things as well.

Also, I am starting to realise how much I am going to miss everything and everyone here. I want to see my friends before I leave, but I am kind of too afraid to. You see, I get quite emotional easily. Just the thought of leaving them causes me to choke up a bit. But it is bad to just leave and not say anything, right? I mean, that is so selfish. I don’t know what to do.

Less than a week left and I feel as if I should be doing something, like getting in as much of America as I can or throwing a massive going away party. But I am not. I am not doing anything and I think I like it that way. Honestly, it is much easier that way.

Well I will definitely update at least once before I leave so you can expect another post in a couple of days.

South Korean scientists say they have engineered glow in the dark beagles by inserting fluorescent genes into their skin. Crazy.

Just because I love Perfume. Just because I love Kashiyuka. And just because I think that this is too cute.

ps. i took this from hanahorizon.blogspot.com. i do not own this gif. credits go all to her.